After having two surgeries and the trendy “shake & bake,” (aka HIPEC), to treat my Peritoneal Mesothelioma, I was put on some serious drugs. I was out of my mind and delusional. I was SO high that although I was hooked up to a gaggle of tubes, I was determined to escape from the ICU. LOL! I had decided that I hated my entire medical team and that I was more than ready to leave the hospital to recuperate at home. So I asked my partner to retrieve my belongings for me & bless his heart he did. “Where are my skinny jeans?! I don’t see them!” I cried like the lunatic I was at that moment, as I weakly rifled through my bag. I eventually found everything I needed and then lay back in bed, satisfied that I had my outfit ready for my upcoming great escape.
Shortly thereafter, unbeknownst to me, I was restrained to my bed with some soft canvas ties. I didn’t understand what they were, but I didn’t like them, so I tried hiding them under my sheets – even in my hot mess state I still had a sense of style and I thought the ties were hideously ugly! Later that day I was lucky enough to get my own private nurse! I felt like a movie star! She sat next to me and when I asked her she told me all about her family and showed me photos on her phone. She even braided my hair!
I loved having my own nurse, everyone should have this luxury I decided. What I didn’t realize was that the lovely nurse was actually my “minder,” – she was there to make sure that I didn’t try to pull out my tubes and escape. Again, LOL. Needless to say my plans were thwarted. After what seemed like an eternity I graduated to a room in the Step-Down unit. That at least felt like an accomplishment, though not as satisfying as had I actually escaped!